Best Man Speech

I always knew that if I was asked to be best man at my friend’s wedding, I wanted to try and put something special together for my best man speech. There were actually 2 best men (John’s brother George was the other) and we both came up with our own speeches. George’s best man speech was far more loving & intellectual than mine so luckily I decided on a humorous approach!

Anyone that knows me will tell you that I’m not a great public speaker. I thought a poem would be much easier for me to read, but it needed some kind of twist .

One night my wife and I were discussing ideas and I thought about perhaps getting messages from some of the bride & groom’s favourite celebrities. To be honest I didn’t think it would actually work, but I took a chance and started contacting their agents. It made me so happy that some of these celebrities, who are no doubt extremely busy, took time out of their days to help out. Not only did they send a video back, but they added humour to it too like a mini sketch!

Using the video messages I received back, I then created a video, including placeholder images to pause the video on, music & special videography effects to make it look nice. The video was designed in a wedding style so it blended in nicely in the corner while everyone enjoyed their meals.

Thank you so much to all of the celebrities & their representatives for helping out. There were also some more video messages that I didn’t manage to fit into my best man’s speech so I was able to give John & Jenna an extra gift of some more videos after the wedding.

Hello, if you don’t know me already – my name is Daniel and it turns out that I’m the 2nd Best Man after John’s brother George. I let him get away with doing the easy, soppy part of the speech – in exchange for plenty of free drinks throughout the night… Cheers George.

I’m about to speak about one of the cleverest, wittiest, most charming, most handsome men I know. And that’s not my opinion. It’s what John told me to say.

One thing I will say about Jenna is that she has a very good sense of humour. As she has proved today… by marrying John. Good joke Jenna, you didn’t ACTUALLY have to go through with it…

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised John and Jenna that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately … (Like John did at my wedding)

Anyway, rather than spending the whole speech recycling jokes from the internet, I have prepared a short poem & video for you all, to show you the side of John that I know. Before I start I’d like to say that if this goes well then I’ll happily take the credit, but if it goes horribly wrong then the whole thing was my wife’s idea.

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Now I’ve known John for many years,

And throughout our time together, we have had many, many beers

When drunk on the dance floor, you should see his dance skills,

But when he’s sober, he wants to be an adventurer like Bear Grylls,

Johns the kinda guy to go where others dare not tread,

Like the time he decided to shave his eyebrows clean off his head.

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When intoxicated, i’ve got plenty more examples of him being silly,

Like on the dance floor at my wedding, when he flopped out his willy,

9 years ago, John did time in a Police prison cell,

I’m pretty sure he would remember this moment only too well,

He decided to pick a fight with a traffic bollard on the pathway,

And woke up in a cell on his 18th birthday!

—————–

John’s dad collected him the next morning, all he could do was laugh and hang his head in shame,

He thought his dad would be mad, bringing a criminal record to the Jeffery name.

It’s a good job he didn’t commit a more serious crime, 

Otherwise he would have missed out on lots of good times.

He would never have met the love of his life Jenna and we wouldn’t be here today,

I have never seen him so happy, well apart from when the england rugby team play…

—————–

Now I have to bring a more serious matter to your attention,

It’s something Jenna has been begging me not to mention,

In April this year, She told her husband-to-be she was off to Disneyland,

I’m sorry to tell you this John, but there’s something you’ve got to understand

In Paris, she met a beast of a man who really got her heart beating,

But don’t worry, I’ve done some investigation and found out who she’s been meeting

—————–

Don’t worry Jenna, we all know you’re in the clear,

John you definitely have nothing to fear,

We know she is dedicated to you, faithful as can be

And loves you so much, it’s plain to see.

Jenna just got to say, you look amazing in your dress,

Can’t say the same about John, take a look at this mess!

—————–

Hope you enjoyed those photos everyone and aren’t scarred for life,

I hope john doesn’t try to punch me later or worse… pull out a knife,

When out in the club John loves to hit the boxing machine,

Tries to get the highest points and let off some steam,

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee,

But really he’s just a pussycat, called John Jeffery,

—————–

Moving on from sport, now something you can relate to Jenna,

I know this is one of your favourite TV shows that you watch together,

As couples, we often talk about our favourite TV shows,

Breaking bad, alan partridge, peaky blinders and game of thrones

John told us to watch a new american show that was really funny,

Turns out he was right, the name of that was ‘It’s always sunny’…

—————–

Well, thank you all for listening to my poem,

Hopefully this has shed some light on John so you can really get to know him,

It’s tricky trying to fit over 15 years of friendship into a short time span,

But despite the jokes, John, you know I love you man.

—————–

Congratulations and well done,

The future’s full of promise and it’s only just begun,

You’re starting on a journey, a new exciting life,

Together as a partnership, as husband and wife,

Adventures, thrills and choices, are waiting just for you,

The road will have some turnings, and perhaps a bump or two,

But you’ll be strong together, you’ll come through every test,

Your love will deepen week by week, be happy all the best.

—————–

Now if everyone could please stand I would like to make a toast to the newly married couple. John & Jenna, here’s to a lifetime of joy and happiness. Cheers!